California

“We’ve been on the run
Driving in the sun
Looking out for number 1
California here we come”

Last week I packed up and left my kids for an entire week to head down to gorgeous California. Part of my trip was to meet up with an INCREDIBLE group of photographers in Santa Barbara to chat about the future of our industry. We discussed what it means to be a leader and dug deep to vocalize our passions so we can connect with each other and get our dreams off the ground. The other part of my trip was pure fun.

I met fellow photographer, and one of my bestest friends Jackie (of JacilynM Photography) in Seattle and we flew down to LA together. We then rented a convertible Mustang and drove up to Santa Barbara (the long way obviously!) It being my first time to California, we figured we should do it proper ;) ….And yes we did BLARE Phantom Planets “California” on the drive down. We had to.

I never thought I could fall in love with a city so far away from home. Away from my mountains, and the forests. But I did. The palm trees, the sunrises and sunsets that are ALWAYS over the ocean (SB faces south :) and the amazing culture. It’s a town of creatives and I just LOVED it. The coffee shops, the design studios, the amazingly incredible talent….it was so inspiring. (and I’ve now decided that one day, I will have a summer home there….or retire there, at 30)

I had a few bucket list items to be crossed off while I was there. #1 being a photo of me on the blue lifeguard towers. It happened. In Malibu :)

From there we headed up to Santa Barbara and I was nervous. So nervous. I was about to meet some of my dear friends. Dear friends who I have NEVER MET IN PERSON. Photographers who I have met through the amazing Shoot and Share community. Photographers who have inspired me, encouraged me and been a wealth of knowledge when I had questions! I was terrified they would meet me and not like me, or that I wouldn’t fit in.

25 hugs later and my doubts were gone. Let’s take a moment to talk about these hugs. These hugs aren’t the side hugs, they aren’t the half second quick squeeze hug. These are the aiport bear hugs. The hugs you get when you haven’t seen your best friend forEVER and you greet them as they get off their plane at the airport hugs. The kind that make any bad day good. These people can HUG.

The next few days we toured a winery together, shot guns together, took a boat tour of the harbour at sunset and I had some of the most heartfelt conversations I have ever had before in my life. I opened up without fear. I was vulnerable. And I have NEVER felt more me. Over the course of that week, my brain was so full of inspiration and ideas. My confidence in myself grew leaps and bounds because of these amazing people.

But what I learnt the most was the importance of being vulnerable. Of finding people in your life that you can share your dreams with. That you feel comfortable enough to hash out your ideas with. Who will call you out when you aren’t being true yo yourself, and who you can open up to and just be you. Without having to explain, without having to justify, and without having to apologize or make excuses. To have the freedom to JUST. BE. YOU.

I was pushed further than I ever thought possible – I’ve always hidden behind sensitivity and I was pushed to look deeper as to why I feel so sensitive, and what I feel most sensitive about…two of them even gave me homework to reflect on at home….which I am so excited to start once my brain gets a much needed rest.

I learned what it means to dig deep. Boy did we ever dig deep. I started a journey in finding what I am passionate about. What my dreams are and why they are my dreams. Two of the girls I got the chance to talk to have very similar dreams and passions as mine and I can’t wait to explore that and see if we can work together to make them a reality.

I found I was hiding behing “I am passionate about photography” or “I am passionate about being a Mom”, rather than digging deep and trying to find out why. Why photography? Why weddings/families/newborns etc? They made me see photography as a tool that I use to express what I am passionate about…and although I haven’t yet clarified what that is, I feel I am on the right track!

And in terms of being a Mom, what aspects of being a Mom was I passionate about? Definitely not diaper changing! haha! But it made me look at my world differently, and look deeper into my life and into how I wanted to use the tools I had at my use to reach others, to inspire others, to potentially lead others.

I am beyond grateful for that week in California. Blessed to have each and every one of those people in my life, and who love me and believe in me without a doubt. You guys are changing my life.

xoxo

** I will now leave you with a copious amount of highlight photos from my trip! :)